Snakes on a Plane

It's important to set your expectations before you start watching a campy scary action thriller. You aren't going to be getting Shakespeare quality acting here, or intricate, multi-layered mysterious plots. You're going to get straight-out action where the cliffhangers keep mounting until the end. Either you like this style of movie, or you don't.

Samuel L. Jackson gets to have some fun here, playing a federal agent escorting a valuable witness from Hawaii to Los Angeles. There's the traditional "collection of random people" to fill out the plane - the mom with the young baby, the famous rap star, the uppity rich girl with her pocket-dog, the airline stewardess on her last flight, etc. etc.

All's relatively quiet until the plane gets up over the ocean - at which point the snakes - a random collection of dangerous snakes from all over the world - are released into the cabin and cockpit. There are spitting cobras, coral snakes, you name it. All of them are hyped up on pheremones and out to attack. And attack they do. If you can imagine a grotesque way for a snake to attach a person, it's in here. Snakes bite half-naked women on the breast. They bite a man on his privates while he's using the restroom. They stick their heads into peoples' mouths and bite their throat from the inside. They go heavily for the "ick" factor here.

The also love the "jump" factor, with many situations where snakes leap out at you, or up at you, or down at you. Even when we re-wound it to see a scene again, it still caused us to jump.

We found ourselves laughing at many scenes which were supposed to be scary, especially scenes involving rubbery snakes leaping directly for exposed breasts or so on. They seemed to have a sense of what specifically to attack. Also, real snakes would bite and retreat, to protect their fangs. They wouldn't for example bite a guy's exposed "male member" and then stay attached to it while the guy flailed around for 30 seconds in agony.

Still, if you're an action movie fan, or maybe just to see what all the hype was about, it might be fun to rent this and take a look for yourself. For us personally, we can count many other action movies we'd rather have been watching.

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