My favorite story by H. P. Lovecraft so far, and we are up to story twelve in his writings. This is not a story about ancient castles or about muddy plains with octopus monoliths. It’s a story about feeling as if life is no longer worth living. It’s about escaping into dreams – and then beyond.
We begin with a man who feels life has run its course. We get the impression that he’s in his seventies, he’s alone in a farmhouse somewhere, and life has no meaning. It’s not that he’s in pain or suffering through cancer treatments or anything else. Life is just gray. Monotonous. There is nothing left there for him.
He tries to escape into his dream worlds. Yes, there are beautiful oceans and serene rivers, but even their beauty fails to stir him after a while. He’s drawn to the grotesque twisting trees of a forest. But even there, after a while, it just becomes boring and dull. He wants to go through the gate. Surely something beyond there will hold interest to him.
To me this resembles the story The White Ship where the main character moves from location to location, and each is interesting, but even so the main character is never quite satisfied. He wants to get to that place beyond the realm where nobody has ever returned from.
Finally the main character learns of a drug which will help him get to that unattainable realm. He takes it, and sure enough, the gate opens. He’s able to step through.
Beyond it, there is complete peace. No people. No scenery. Just white light and a dissolving of self. No memories. No burdens to shoulder.
In his real life, Lovecraft had wanted to enlist in WWI and was actively blocked by his mother. His mother told everyone he was too weak and feeble to fight. This was the world Lovecraft had to deal with. And then his mother died. He was wholly cast adrift. One could see how Lovecraft would just want everything to ‘go away’. To not deal with thoughts or memories any more.
I found this piece extremely powerful.
Read Ex Oblivione for yourself:
https://www.hplovecraft.com/writings/texts/fiction/eo.aspx
I get into more details in my video on this topic.