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Saying NO - Time Management
One of the hardest things for any person to do is to say NO to another person. It is a refusal to help, a statement that your time is more valuable than their request. Rather than being passive, this is a very active action you have to take.Person X has come to you saying "This task is important to me! I desire you, you are critical to help me with it!" For you to say NO to them is in essence saying "Even though YOU feel this is important, *I* do not feel it is that important. I will not support you in what you are doing." You can see why this is so hard to do! Many people give in and say yes even though they are already way too busy. It is simply easier to say yes than to deal with the grief of denying the person.
However, this short-term ease leads to long-term trouble. Saying NO or YES takes maybe one second of time (excluding all the other discussion). However, the ramifications of saying YES can last months if not years. You now have time and energy dedicated to this task. The rest of your life is affected. It's a hard concept to internalize at first, but you only have 24 hours in each day. Every human being has those 24 hours. You need to keep that time as open as humanly possible for your ultimate desires in life. If you fill your life up with tasks which do not head towards your goals, then they will only distract you and sap your energy. They will cause your life to be too full. If your life is too full, when something comes along which WILL get you towards a goal - even a tiny first step - you will not be able to do it. Those tiny steps are critical in getting to where you want to be.
Also, as odd as it might seem, saying NO to something is usually a good thing! Let's say you've done a bake sale for 4 years. The group comes to you in year 5 and says "please run our bake sale again!" You really don't want to but you feel guilted into saying yes. However, what would have happened if you said no? They would have gone down their list to the next person. That next person might be bored silly and THEIR goal list might include "take a position of responsibility where I can interact with other adults." They might *adore* being in charge of a bake sale! It might be their dream! By taking on something you don't want to do, you could be preventing another person from reaching their goals.
For every job or task in life there are people who actively want to do it - and others who reluctantly get sucked into it. By taking on things you don't want to do, you make those tasks unavailable for people who haven't had the chance yet to try them. You might be really surprised that something you find to be a chore and sort of tedious, someone else dreams about doing.
It's of course important to look critically at each task about where it lies in your path. For example, take a mammogram. I'm sure few people dream about having a mammogram. However, we do dream about being healthy for many years and a mammogram is a critical step on that path. So while we are not enthused to get a mammogram, we do actively want to have that stepping stone towards good quality health as we age.
In the end, it is critical to first do the goal setting exercises to know what your aims in life are. That way you can judge each task that comes at you and determine if it is on your path or not. If it is on your path, appreciate it! It might not be "fun" but it is of value to you.
If the task is NOT of value to your life or path, then give serious thought as to why it is in your time schedule. Every second is precious, and your priorities in life should be given respect. Your time and attention are very valuable. Treat your choices with that level of care and respect.
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